WWFCF. What Would You Flip a Coin For?

Let's start on the easy side. Most of you would flip for a dollar? Right? Nothing really at stake but that rush is worth it. $10? $100? $1000? My friend/ex-carpool/Sleep Number Fcking Promoter/Poker Pro Kevin Yee would flip for anything. So I took that idea and applied it to my day. So I am willing to bet on anything as long as I have an edge, hence my former poker days and my current prop betting addiction.

Today was great. It was a Craigslist day. In case you bitches don't know what that is, it is equivalent to Christmas, but it is self proclaimed and can happen with 24 hours of notice. The night before you scour Craigslist and email 100 people about things you want. You lowball the shit out of them. Out of the 100, a couple will respond and bend to your demands. Then the next day you plot all of their addresses into Google Maps and you go to the bank and take out a stack of C's [C Niotes for you hip hop impaired] and make THE LOOP. Sometimes it is not a loop though, because you can't pick up two big items back to back, so sometimes you do an infinity sign or a fcking sigma sign. Nonetheless, Craigslist days are the best. I think better than UPS showing up with your Prime shipment. Instant gratification is always better, that is why we like strip clubs vs internet porn, right?

So my first stop was in Redwood Shores. Met a great guy who just redid his whole kitchen and first floor. Looked nice from the outside. I picked up 2 cabinets [please refer to yesterday's post]. He was really nice as someone came and bought everything but he held the two cabinets for me. There are nice people out there still! Not many, but still got hope [FORESHADOWING...] I picked up the two cabinets and got all Hulk on that mother fcker and dropped 2 drawers, cracked one. Whatever, I am a carpenter. I will fix it. I want to post pics of those bad boys in my kitchen, but I cannot find my camera.

After we got the cabinets and secured them to J's Silverado [big up to J for being a The Transporter today] I took us to U-Buffet. Shit is legit. Won't like them since they are in Belmont. My readers keep it real and don't trespass out there. We finish up and head to this guy's warehouse who advertises bedroom sets for 395 on Craigslist. I was like this shit is too good to be true. We walk into his shithole and he is on the phone and don't mind us. I could careless, he was in a flannel and looked like a hipster from Cap Hill.

Like that, so finally after 10 minutes he comes out and asks if we have any questions. I just tell him that I am looking for that good deal. He shows me some pieces of Kid Furniture for 395 and I laugh inside. I go home. Seriously? I wanted to tell him Big Boys make Big Boy Noise and we need Big Boy Toys. The set I would have walked out of there with was 825, so my theory is right. It is about 800 a set. I think Ikea on Craigslist is my solution. $50 bed anyone?

Then we drop off the cabinets and dry fit them in the kitchen:

Refinishing these bitches tomorrow. Look nice or what? Yes I got that HGTV vision. I know.

Then we head out to Alma and pick this up:

We moved it from J's Truck [background] to Priscilla [foreground]. I had to drive from the Silver Creek Country Club to The Lamsion on Capitol Expressway. Talk about ineffecient. I was trying to get home asap so I could meet Mark and pick up this bad boy:

I get back to The Lamsion at 4:55 and call Mark. He says hey Pat did you want to come by and look at the TV. I was like no shit son, why you think I call? To cancel? Dumb Mother Fcker. So I head over and we have this conversation:

Mark: Hey Pat, welcome someone is already looking at the TV and 2 other people are on there way.

Pat: Ok.

Mark: So if you want it, let me know.

Pat: Ok. What if he wants it to?

Mark: So whoever gives me the money first gets it.

Pat: Ok. [This is the stupidest piece of shit Goldilock eating mother fcker.]

Pat: Ok, I see it works. Can I see the HDMI inputs?

Mark: There on the bottom.

Pat: Ok, here is $150.

Indian Guy: Here is $150. 

Pat: This isn't awkward.

Mark: Do you guys want to bid?

Pat: Are you kidding? I don't bid. This is a joke.

Indian Guy: I don't want to bid [with a Slurpee Slang]

Mark: Ok, well...

Mark's Wife: [sidebusting in the back] Give it to the college kid, he needs it more.

[Oh Christ, I am in the house of idiots. I am scared if I take it, this Ghandi mother fcker with slash my tires. So I apply WWFCF]

Pat: Why don't we flip a coin.

Indian Guy: Ok, fair.

Mark: Call it.

Pat: Heads.

Mark: Sorry, it is tails. Thanks Pat.

Indian Guy: [puts out hand for a handshake as if we just fcking finished the 18th hole] Sorry Pat.

Pat: Congratulations. 

Seriously? Some people on Craigslist are fcking retarded. Sanding new cabinets tomorrow and refinishing them. Getting more quotes. Serious?